Money don’t have nationality

I‘m looking for an answer. I‘m looking for so many answers, but the truth is i don‘t know what is the right question. We are the problem in this world. We are making problems for ourselves, we are hurting others and so often even not thinking about it. If you have roof under your head, if you have bread for your dinner, if you have people whom love you, what else do you need? You need an answers. But what are these questions?
I am wondering from where all this negativity comes. It looks like there is nothing to complain, but you feel so small, so lonely, so lost, dissapointed. You put shit in your head and you can‘t let it go. You feel like in prison in your own brain. You try to run away, but where to run if everything around is the same? Everybody is dealing with such a big things. We all are fighting every day for a better life. We live day by day, we believe in a bright future, we don‘t understand the power of now, we try to pretend that we are so good, that we are so happy, so lucky. For what reason? Not to disburb others with our problems or make other people more misserable? We are not honest enought. We are not honest at all. And first of all, we are not honest with ourselves.
Every deep conversation you are able to have gives you something. You learn. You see you are not alone. We all are people. We are just people. We all came to this life when some higher power decided and will leave it when the time will come. Why we are not trying to be correct, supportive, open minded? Words are so powerfull. I‘m always saying that words are just words, you can say anything, you can play so easy, but I don‘t mean it. Very simple honest word can make other person feel better. And the truth is you have to say truth. Others see us different than we see ourselves. We are actepting people as they are, but maybe telling to others how you see them makes them grow. We believe we are something else than we are, maybe we wan‘t to be somebody else, or maybe we are being flexible to get something. We all are just users.
Today i got so upset. I was so dissapointed seing how people are obsest about money. Even the money which will never be in your pocket. Maybe I don‘t understand this life, maybe I don‘t have nobody to take care and feed, but how, can you tell me, how can you believe that some paper is more valuable, more important than alive creature? I am polite, i am very polite, I dont feel hate for nothing and for nobody, but there are two things I can not stand – greedy people and fake people. For God Saint, I don‘t want to change them, I just really really want to avoide them.


The power of now

Everything in this world is in the power of time. We plan so many things, we think we will do so many stuff, we will stick for something, improve, grow, will be somebody.

Even small things. We like to plan our life, tell our minds to others. Share that next month we will go on holiday, next year we will be promoted at work, will receive higher salary, in five years we will get marry, will have house, children etc. I was so jealous for people who know what they will do, they know what they want. I was always wondering how, why… why I don’t have all these feelings, why I am so lost. I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I will do or even what I am doing and I have no fucking idea what I want. Nowadays I even lost inspiration to write. Just enjoying peaceful life and trying to understand psychology of the local people.

I can’t stand fake people and so many of them I found here. Being nice for a reason to get something, to use. It is not common for me to see people over 30 years talking how they enjoy the freedom and how they don’t want nothing serious, just fun and definitely definitely nothing more.

Yesterday I was having this conversation how people close minded can be. How do you know what will happen? How can you put limits on something you don’t realize? Putting boundaries, blocking yourself, playing with your brain and repelling others. We all are scared to be hurt and to lose people we care. From wish to have and control we say and do mean things. And this is life. We are learning every single day and every single moment. Just we have to make sure these means words are not the last we said…

Some words stalled in my mind from yesterday’s conversation. It was an old wise man counsel. Not for me, for the person I was sharing my thoughts;

Don’t talk too much. Always listen what others are saying. How can you learn something if you are talking all the time? Listening is the only way you can learn something new.

I agree. 100 percent. But in the end today I feel inspired. I spoke a lot and by talking, by having these kind of conversations I understand more about myself. How I was, how I am, what I learned, how I changed and what I want.

Life is full of opportunities. You never know what will happen, whom you will meet, how it will change your life or your plans which you created so long. Making plans takes so much energy. You are giving all of you to believe in the bright future, you wait and you get upset if you don’t get what was expected. We need to stop doing this and enjoy the moment. It will never be the same again.